Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Two Steps Forward, Three Steps Back

This week it feels like my emotional strength has slipped backwards.  Perhaps it is a perfect storm - getting closer to Meghan's wedding, dealing with bankers, dealing with everyday issues.  It has worn me out emotionally.  For some reason I cannot find the strength to pull it together.  Tomorrow is a new day.  

I am so looking forward to the happiest day of my daughters life - her wedding day on July 9th.  It will be an outdoor wedding and more fitting, a beach wedding at Passages Resort, Miracle Beach.  She will be marrying her friend, the love of her life.

I am dreading the happiest day of my daughters life.  It is a family event and Ron was meant to be there.  Everyone tells me Ron will be with us and that is true but it is not good enough.  Here I sit broken hearted.  You may have heard the saying - two souls, one heart.  That was me and Ron.  When he died, my heart died with him.  

Both my kids feel that step-father was not an appropriate title for Ron.  To them he was much more.  He was a mentor, a role model, an inspiration, a sounding board, a friend and so much more.  

Ron will be hugely missed on July 9 and I have to believe he will give me the strength to be the best mom on her daughters wedding day.  

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