Yes, Virginia, There Is A Santa Claus

Ron loved this saying.  He believed.  Ron loved everything Christmas.  He played his Christmas music all year.  He loved all the Christmas classic movies like Miracle on 34^th Street, Scrooge and Polar Express.   When we lived in our house he started a Santa collection and had always wanted a snow glove collection.  Living aboard was not the ideal time to enhance or start any Christmas collections.

Heck one year Ron purchased the 'fireplace' dvd so we would have a crackling warm fire on the boat for Christmas dinner.  That's my Ron!

Candles were also a big part of Ron’s life.  He was the romantic of the two of us.  There never needed to be a reason to light and enjoy the soft glow of a candle.  It was romantic and so was my husband.

It occurred to me that if I was going to enjoy Christmas in any way I had to incorporate and keep alive the spirit of Ron.  I stretched my brain to come up with a solution that felt so right it would put a smile on my face and fill my heart with joy.

First, there is the challenge every year of making Christmas possible for those less fortunate.  Ron and I have always been generous to each other all year.  I took time to write a heartfelt but brief note in a card to explain how this donation came about.  Then I took the amount that I would have spent on Ron put it in the card and donated it to Santa’s Anonymous through CFAX Radio Victoria.  This was all I needed to get started.  The next idea just appeared.  It was what to do for our kids, Stewart, Meghan, Kirsten and Ryan. 

In the spirit of Ron I knew exactly what I would get them.  Unbeknownst to me, the first step was far more difficult than I could ever have imagined.  Simply put, I could not go to the Mayfair Mall.  I drove around and around and around then drove away.  I could not bring myself to park and shop.  I had intended to shop at the newly created Christmas store. 

In the meantime, it was agreed that I would have Christmas with Stew (and family) and Meghan (and husband Blair) on December 10 in the Comox Valley.  I would celebrate with Kirsten and Ryan at a later date in Victoria.  This would work!  I was excited but now I really had to go into the mall.  In I go.  Good on me.  Out I went.  I could not bring myself to go into the Christmas store.  As anxiety set in, I bolted. 

Time was running out; the tenth was drawing near.  Into the store I go.  My goal was to purchase four Christmas snow globes; one for each of our kids.  This was the spirit of Ron coming alive at Christmas.  I stepped into the store and simultaneously the tears started to flow.  I sobbed and sobbed.  My vision was bleary.  I forced myself to walk around the store no less than three times to ensure that I had noticed every snow globe so I could pick four.  It did not happen.  I once again abruptly left empty handed. 

I had seen what I wanted I just had to muster up the courage to carry through.  On the morning of December  9^th I had no choice.  One day before our Christmas I mustered up the courage, marched in and objectively made the purchases.  There, the first step was done.  It only took three or four tries. 

Next, I purchased each of the kids a Christmas music CD – something Ron would have liked.  And then, I purchased each of them a pillar beeswax candle.  This gift was all Ron.  His spirit will live on at the homes of our children.  Needless to say, tears were shed when I explained the significance of their gift. 

From the kids, for their gifts to me, early in December I had requested they give to others less fortunate so those children could have a Christmas. The joy of giving temporarily released my heart from the pain of my loss.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.