Before Ron moved on I gently looked him in the eye and without a tear I promised him that I would be OK. He smilied and said, “I know you will. I know you.”
Perhaps that is why I put myself into situations that are emotionally painful. Example – going to Filberg Lodge near our anniversary date. Also being in the company of friends who are celebrating their anniversaries. I have come to believe that if I go headstrong into this grieving process it will be quick and painless. After all, I am Janice. I will get through it. I have learned over and over that it just doesn’t work that way.
I have also come to a new understanding of why I had children. They have been pivotal in getting me through the past week in Comox. I spend a lot of time with son Stewart and his family and a lot of one on one time with daughter Meghan. I also understand why a surviving spouse will migrate to their kids or grands. No, I am not ready to move to Comox (no liveaboards allowed). Truth is, I just do not know where I want to live. Ta Daa is my home so where ever she is docked, I am home.
I am in Lund, BC. Gateway to Desolation Sound. Perhaps I am heading for more misery. Ron and I have spent time in Desolation Sound and I will be revisiting some of our favourite spots. I will also be visiting some new locations. Get this; if I visit favourite locations I get teary because of memories we shared there. If I visit new locations I get teary because Ron should be there to share the beauty, peace and adventure with me. It is a no win situation so I just barrel through.
I am fortunate on this trip to Desolation. Some friends (three boats) are heading this way as I type. We will meet up this afternoon and head for Tenedos Bay.