What Are Friends For?

I can tell you!  They phone you up while at Granville Island and encourage you to stay out of the boutiques.  “You do not need anything.  You live on a boat.” 

Friends laugh with you, cry with you, support and encourage you.  Friends also let you be a friend back.  They let you laugh with them, cry with them, support and encourage them. 

Friends are friends when you haven’t spoken in a while and pick up where you both left off - as if there was never a time lapse. 

Friends are honest, even if it is not what you want to hear.  Friends are gentle; friends are kind. 

Friends can be family and family can be friends.  Sometimes you want your friends to be family.

 I would not be where I am today without my friends. 

It has been just over a month since I retired from the BC Provincial Government.  There has not been one iota of regret or doubt or trepidation.

I already wonder how I had time to work!  I am involved with Brentwood Bay Power and Sail Squadron, Bluewater Cruising Association and WOW (Women on Water).

For Brentwood Bay, I am a Bridge member, meaning I attend meetings monthly as well as prepared and presented a talk on single handing my sailboat, Ta Daa.  BCA and WOW is very exciting.  WOW is a group of five women from BCA who are in the preliminary stages of organizing a WOMEN only one day boating seminar for the Spring of 2013.  And BCA has asked me to be on the Watch for the upcoming year. 

I have been up to the Comox Valley a couple of times to visit family and friends.  This is always so enjoyable and especially when I get time with the grand kids. 

I have half-assed trained for the Times Colonist 10K run,  which I did complete with my daughter on April 29.  We crossed the finish line and that is all that matters.  Thanks, Meg!

The biggest task was to rummage through all the lockers, nooks and crannies on Ta Daa and get rid of what was no longer needed or wanted.  It was also a time to take stock and reorganize.  In doing so, I decided it was a good idea to participate in the Giant Marine Garage Sale (put on by the Victoria Maritime Museum).  The garage sale on April 21 was a huge success.  Of all the items I took, I only came home with two. 

I have learned a bit more about electrical on a boat.  I had to replace a pump, which involved some wiring and I installed a fan in my aft cabin, which also involved wiring. 

Leaving work also meant that I needed to have my dental work up to date.  You guessed it; appointments were necessary to replace old amalgam with acrylic.  Three appointments and the work was completed.  You gotta love dentists these days.  I just laid back, took the injection like a big girl and watched TV for the duration of the work. 

Since January I have been attending courses on Thursday evenings.  I took three:  GPS, Chartplotting and RADAR.  These courses finished mid April. I have to tell you, an exam is an exam.  I still get sweaty palms and a mind full of doubt as to whether I will pass or not. 

Through BCA I attended a night of stargazing at the Observatory.  It was an awesome evening.  If you have not been there it is a must see!

The school I will be attending – Western Academy of Photography – had two photography shows: one for the advanced students and one for the Photography and Written Image (Photojournalism) students.  The work was stunning.  I will aspire to the level of the 2012 graduating class.  If I can do that, then I know I will have something to offer the world!

I have also had time to lunch with work buddies.  It was great to catch up!  I had to add at this point nothing I heard wanted me to change my mind and come back to work – hee hee. 

Since I was planning to leave home port on April 29 after the 10K run Ta Daa and the dinghy needed to be prepared.  Dinghy outboard needed a tune up so I delivered that to the Mercury guys, the dinghy got washed and more air added, Ta Daa got refueled and went for a short run.  All systems go!

The biggest news yet!  When I received this news I felt as though I had won the biggest lottery.  I received a call from the skipper of Red Heather.  Red Heather is a 40’ Olson sailboat.  She is racing in the Victoria to Maui race at end of June.  No, I am not racing but I was asked to be crew on the return trip – Maui to Victoria.  This is a Pacific crossing of approximately 3,500 nautical miles.  Why you ask?  I have always wanted to cross an ocean and I also want to complete this journey in memory and honour of my husband Ron.  It was something that Ron and I thought we would be doing together.  Ron will be with me the whole way.  He will experience this journey through my eyes. 

A quote from my husband, “Take my hand, hold on tight, we are going on another adventure.”  Ronald, my love, I suggest you to hold on tight.  I am taking you on an adventure. 

Our adventure starts on July 25 and would not be possible if it weren’t for my daughter and neighbours who will be caring for Winston while I am away. 

So here I am at Granville Island having some repair work done on Ta Daa:  the hot water tank needed to be replaced, the starboard window needed to be resealed, the anchor light needed to be replaced, we needed to trouble shoot the RADAR and I needed a heat guard built for the hot pipes on the heater.  Today I was having an emotionally challenging day.  The very place I sit is the very place Ron and I purchased our first sailboat, and our second sailboat and our third.  Dreams have turned to reality for us on Granville Island. 

I asked you, what are friends for?  Friends come and temporarily take you away from Granville Island.  They understand, they make you laugh and they share fond memories of Ron.

Thank you to all my friends for your support and encouragement to get me this far.  I love and respect each and every one of you.

A Crazy Six Weeks

One more sleep, one more day and I begin a new chapter in my life.

I cannot tell you the exact date but it was about a week after the anniversary of Ron’s passing.  I realized that I had spent a year honouring Ron and keeping his spirit alive.  I cannot imagine doing anything different.  While it was a year of pain it was also a year of acknowledgement and growth for me.  All the decisions I have made, looking back, I do not regret a single one. 

Decisions.  Some decisions were very difficult and painful, others were extremely simple and needed little thought.  Retirement, for instance, some would think it would be a drawn out process to come to a final decision.  Not for me, I gave it serious thought for about 24 hours.  I must confess I dabbled with the idea on February 22.  It was on that date I attended a pension seminar.  It was there I met Wolf, a pension counselor.  He kindly gave me his email.  Little did I know that we were a match; me with questions, he with answers.

I also, unconsciously, found myself one evening cruising the net.   For what, I did not know.  Does not matter because it is what I found that matters most.  It was a sight for photojournalism.  Better yet, it was a school and even better, it is in Victoria. 

Next.   If you remember in a previous post I wrote about my sitting in front of the appeal board on February 6.  On February 27 I received an email and telephone call revealing the results.  I had to read the email three times to ensure I was seeing what was actually written.  The telephone call confirmed it.  The appeal board ruled in MY favour.  It was a bittersweet moment.  I was happy yet I cried as I recalled the reason for the event – my grief for Ron. 

On February 28 I seriously thought about retirement.  Yes, there would be a difference between my pay cheque and my retirement cheque.  It was a difference I felt that I could live with and more than likely could make up doing something else.  Recall the photojournalism school.  It was meant to be.  The ideas were flowing and the decisions clicking.  On February 29 I handed in my resignation from the Province of British Columbia; it feels so good, it feels so right.

Somewhere in here I fit in a trip to Whistler to visit my good friend Cecilia.  We had the time of our lives; skate skiing, a day at the spa, and a biathalon.  Yes, you read right.  Cecilia signed us up for a beginner biathalon.  It was something I had always wanted to do.  Skating and shooting – something I need more practice at but if I lived in Whistler I could get hooked.  Practice round of shooting 0/5.  First race round 3/5 which garnered me two penalty ski loops.  Second race round I managed to hit 5/5 targets and no penalty loops.  My skate skiing sucked but I had a blast!

Needing to know more and true to my character, I researched the school, visited the premises, and interviewed one of the instructors.  The Western Academy of Photography is for me.  Next task - upgrade camera equipment – stay with Pentax or switch to Canon or Nikon.  My head swirled in technical data from the hours of research.  A decision was reached.  I am now a Nikon girl and am undergoing a steep learning curve with my D7000 but loving every moment. 

I have been winding down at work, sorting files, deleting superfluous emails and updating schedules.  I will miss my workmates and the support they offered each and every day. 

I will spend the summer cruising and getting to know my Nikon.  School starts in September.  It is a ten-month course.  I will have to face my fears, acknowledge how little I know, and rise to my expectations. 

One more sleep, one more day and I begin my new chapter.

Remembering Ron On February 13th.

I cannot believe it has been a year since my Ron, my beloved husband left us for his new life.

I can believe, during this past year, he has been with me the whole time.   

What do you do on the anniversary of the death of a loved one?  I had to ask myself that question several times.  Each time, nothing appropriate came to mind.  It is not an occasion for celebration.  I also felt that I would require some time alone.  As the great universe would have it, I was sick.  Was it a coincidence?  Not sure.  What I do know is that I needed to drag my sorry butt out of bed and get some fresh air.  Thank goodness for Tylenol.  I got dressed and headed to Sooke.  In Sooke I purchased fresh and beautiful red tulips with rich black centres.  Winston and I were now on our way to Botanical Beach.  The road to Port Renfrew was just what I needed – deserted.  I encountered few.  The beach was the same – perfect.  The sun shone, the waves were crashing and the tide was barely out, but out far enough for me to write in the sand.  When we travelled we did this often.  I then took the flowers and threw them into a raging tidal pool.  They were instantly swept away, just as I wanted.  Winston and I then basked in the sun and allowed ourselves to get lost in the roar and pounding of the waves.  We were one with Ron.  It was a time for sweet and loving memories.  It was a time to just be;  Ron, Winston and me.

I want to thank all of you who texted, emailed and telephoned to let me know that you too, in your own way, were remembering Ron on February 13.


The following song is from one of Ron's favourite artists.  Click the link to listen.

A White Sandy Beach - please listen, enjoy and remember.

Aloha, my love

February So Far

February has so far been a rough couple of weeks.  Without going into details, I have had to face an appeal board of three doctors.  The days leading up to February 6 were agonizing.  To prepare for the appeal I was forced to re-live my journey with Ron and his cancer.   Further, I was also pushed to face my weaknesses during my journey through my grieving process.  The doctors asked questions for three full hours.  Needless to say I was emotionally, mentally and physically exhausted.  I retreated to my Volvo.

There I gathered myself before heading out.  As I drove down the lane – flanked by parking on both sides – some lady backed out and hit my shiny Volvo – smack in the middle of the front bumper.  I could not believe it.  I just could not believe it.  Out I climbed.  She said to me, “Where did you come from?”  Then she said, “I think this accident is 50/50.”  I said, “I don’t think so.”  We exchanged names, contact info and I noted her license plate number.  I am happy to say she did contact me and we are sorting through the repairs.

I got word from my marina that I could move Ta Daa home to Westbay on Feb 10.  That was good news for me and Winston.  I had to wait for a rising tide and was home by 1 PM.  It took some time to securely and properly tie up.  Next, Winston and I walked back to Victoria to get the Volvo.  On the way I started to feel unwell.  Hmmm this gurgling tummy is unusual but I was sure it was just a gas bubble working its way through.  I thought wrong.  I no sooner had returned to the boat and I was violently ill.  This went on far too long.  I could barely get out of bed the next day to walk my little fur baby.  Sunday was a bit better but I found it difficult to even drink water.  Thank goodness it passed and its wake left me with headaches for a couple of days.  

The Rest Of January...

Was uneventful, that is, until January 22.  I had gone up island on my flex Friday and chose to stay only one night.  Winston and I trundled home on Saturday, arriving about seven.   I warmed the boat, hunkered down with a nip of scotch and lavished in the thought that I could sleep in the next day.  It seemed like it would be the first sleep in for weeks.  I was due.  

As a live aboard, your hearing becomes more acute. Before the sun came up, I could hear the wind starting to blow.  Soon after I could hear and feel the effects.  The wind was out of the east.  That means for me the wind was blowing from the direction of the inner harbor and hitting me on the port beam.  I was being blown off the dock.  No before you jump to conclusions I was not being blown away but my lines were being stretched to the maximum.  I often checked the space between me and my closest neighbour.  We have no dock finger between us.  There was little room.  I put out fenders in the event we came close enough to touch.

I checked the wind speed at Ogden Point.  As boaters we learn to understand wind speed in knots.  A knot is about 1.8 km/hr.  Before coffee it was time to check what is going on outside.  At 8 AM  it was crazzzzzzy!  Waves were pounding my other neighbour’s boat into the dock with waves crashing over his deck.  As a result our dock finger was taking a beating.  I added extra lines to my boat.  I chatted to another neighbor for a bit then decided it was time to go inside.  Winston and I would not be going for the intended 6 km walk.  As I turned to head to my boat I realized that the line had pulled so tight it broke the 2X4 railing.  Then I noticed that the dock was breaking up from underneath.  The wind peaked at 56.8 knots!  One of my cleats that I was tied to was twisting sideways.  It was as if all HELL was breaking loose.  What could go wrong was going wrong!

This brought new and unfamiliar fears.  I was worried that the loose boards would find their way into the hull of my boat.   I was compelled to report the current happenings to the owner.  He came down for a first hand look.  With a little help from my friends, we did some fancy lashing to secure my dock finger to the main dock.  We also secured my boat to the main dock and to the piling.  The fear was that my boat finger would further break up in the storm.  I stayed aboard for the afternoon and early evening.  For safety reasons, Winston and I stayed overnight at our neighbour’s float home.  The next day it was decided that I would move Ta Daa to the inner harbor while my dock finger was rebuilt and reinforced with angle iron.  While it was a treat to be in the harbor, three weeks was a long time away from my home port.    

January 5, 2012

On this day I got up as usual.  Headed into work as usual.  Turned on my computer as usual.  Put my iPhone on the docking station as usual.  First one, then another.  Happy Birthday.  My daughter send me a text – a very happy and cheery birthday text.  A co-worker brought a little gift, a hug and birthday greetings.  Soon after I fell apart.

I had told myself when I arose in the morning that this was just another day.  Nothing special.  You see, if I pretended it was nothing, it was not my birthday I would get through it.  My strategy did not work. 

Having managed to pull myself together for the afternoon, after supper I headed to my boating course.  Little did I know that my friends at the course remembered and we celebrated with baby cupcakes and a few tears.  When I got home my daughter, in cahoots with my neighbours, had flowers delivered to the boat.  To all who shared your love, thank you.  I know in my heart and soul that Ron thanks you too.

Growing up my birthday was not a big deal and often forgotten.  My reason for acceptance is that it was so soon after Christmas and New Year celebrations.  Ron changed all of that.  The two of us would have a celebration of my choice and sometimes Ron’s choice.  When I turned 50 he took me to Disneyland.  By the time we got there he had Customs Officers singing Happy Birthday and flight attendants serving us free wine. 

I saved the card that Ron gave me last year.  I have read it over and over - the sentiment is eternal.  

The outside front shows a picture of two people walking hand in hand along a path.  Above the picture it reads:

My Wife…

Below the picture:

I can’t imagine

a more wonderful partner

than you to share

this life with…

Next page:

My friend…

Thank you

for letting me be me,

for loving me as I am,

and understanding me

So well…

Inside:

My love…

forever

and always

my heart belongs

to you (and he added in his pen) and you alone

Happy Birthday

Then he penned:

Janice words cannot say or express my feelings for you and how much I love you.  Nor can I attempt to express my thoughts and feelings as we move beyond today.  But we shall as it is us.  Happy Birthday to the woman of my dreams, my everything and my LOVE!

Now, always and forever

Ron xoxoxoxoxo

A New Year

Reluctantly, Winston and I drove away from Tofino.  We soon put  a smile on our faces knowing we are heading to the Comox Valley.  I have mentioned in an earlier post that I have a house that is undergoing renovations.  I will save that story for another post.  Heading to the Valley will allow me time with my family and the house renos.  More importantly this is where I am spending my first New Year’s Eve without Ron.  Let me digress.

The first New Year that Ron and I ever shared we played a game of crib.  This game of crib was a tradition for every year after.  The consequence of winning or losing  the game would last the entire year… until the next New Year game.  The winner could boast decision-making rights for one full year.  Let me clarify.  The winner did not make every decision just the ones where we could not make a decision; when we were unsure, hesitant, ambivalent, indecisive.  You get the picture.  Someone had to make a decision.  It came to rest on the winner’s shoulders.  The other could walk away and say ‘it’s your year, Honey”. 

We never kept track over the years how many Ron won or how many I won.  I will say that I used to tease Ron that it was clear when he won – the year we bought our first boat, the year we bought our second boat, the year we bought our third boat.  Again, you get the picture.  I never regretted Ron’s decisions.  I trusted him utterly and absolutely. 

Back to New Year’s Eve in the Comox Valley.  I had been working at the house all day, oblivious what day it was.  Off to Home Depot I go before heading to my sister’s for and evening of food and movies.  It was on the way to HD that I just out of the blue started sobbing.  I just realized how different this evening was going to be to the 15 previous New Year Eves.  I also knew that I had to pull it together before going to my sisters as the evening would have turned into a cry fest and that is the last thing I wanted or that Ron would have wanted. 

Once in Home Depot, I understood I was here for more than supplies.  Ron used to call Home Depot the happiest place on earth (next to Disney).  He would wonder the aisles marveled at all the items and wondering which ones he could possibly need.  

The people in HD must have wondered who the teary eyed woman was wandering the aisles.  I wept and I moseyed for a good half hour just looking but seeing nothing  It is amazing where you can find comfort -  Home Depot of all places.  I paid for my measly choice of supplies and made my way to a new New Year – albeit quiet – celebration. 

Happy New Year to all of you -   may it bring you health, happiness and dreams come true.